Exhibitionist to a child

As much as I would like to say this was an isolated incident. It was not. In future blogs I will reveal the others but this was the absolute very first time.

It was early. I was walking to school on a pretty well travelled road in our small town. I walked by myself as I usually ran late in the morning.

It was a nice day and I was in no hurry. To my right I was passing the last house approaching the alley and then an open corner field/large plot. As I got closer to the alley a nice small green car with beige leather or vinyl interior, playing music low, driven by an every day clean gray haired man who would not have caused me to scare in any way. He stopped right in front of me. I thought he was waiting for a car before getting on the street but he was just waiting for me to get closer.

I got close enough that I could look down and see he had a hard on, he was stroking himself and smiling at me with that dirty smirk. I will never forget it.

I darted off to school. I went straight to the office. I was sent to class. I was never interviewed by the police, my parents never asked me anything or came to the school and by the end of the day I don’t even think I remembered it. Every once in a while I have the memory, it makes me queasy and I push it out of my mind.

Other times, I wonder what happened to the dirty creep. Did he hurt someone before he showed me his penis? Did he just show his penis? Did he take it further than this with other small kids? Did he force anyone? Dis I just get lucky and not get sexually assaulted, kidnapped and/or killed?? I know for sure I was 2nd or 3rd grade at most and pretty sure it was 2nd. Anyhow, did he get caught? I hope the dirty creep got caught.

I thank my lucky stars it was only as bad as seeing a yucky old man penis well before I should have.

The good quickie – ok, Dad. I’m ready

This morning my husband joked to our Son that he could ride his scooter to school and he would drive the truck. We do our morning routine and get ready to go to school. Our Son proceeds to grab his scooter and told his Dad, “Ok Dad. I am ready.” He’s on his scooter ready to go by the front door. We giggle and say we were just joking but he is was dead serious. Hahaha he is obviously upset he isn’t riding the scooter. I told him to have a great day at school and I would bring the scooter for him to ride from the classroom to our truck. He was excited and gave us a big, “yeah hooooo!”

Parenting is not always a joy

Sometimes parenting just sucks ass. It does. No need to kid ourselves. Sometimes my kids suck. Sometimes I suck as a parent. I strive to be a great parent all of the time. Most of the time I am pretty good parent. But, there are days where I am just an ok parent and ok might even be giving me too much credit.

Don’t get me wrong or misunderstand. Even on my worst days my children are still loved and cared for. They are not harmed or mistreated.

Even on a day like today. I was just ok. I have hit my limit of stress from every aspect of my life. I am an overwhelmed person. And first thing today our Son decided to do something at school that got him sent home. Any home from school at 3 years old!

The last 2 weeks have been tough. Everyone has that 1 kid in the class, school or daycare they can’t stand their kid to be around because of what they learn, repeat, etc. Today was over the top.

I was damn near tears. I could feel them welling up but I managed to pull myself together, barely. My husband and I looking at each other silently, communicating in our wave lengths and visually sharing our confusion, hurt, disappointment and mostly…. concern. Concern, not for what he did. Concern, as to what in the world did he see, how did he feel, where was this learned, was he scared, was he hurt and a flood of other questions all racing in our minds. We both know it by just our look to each other like our minds collided. I am pretty sure what felt like 10 minutes was 2 seconds.

We have an appointment at the school tomorrow. They hate dealing with us. We ask too many questions. We ask them where teachers were at the time. Which teachers. We ask them what the other children were doing. We’ve already dealt with a child telling our Son she would “kill your (his) parents” and several other strange things. And, we ask them what they could have done to prevent the situation or how they could have protected our Son better and we do not accept there is only so much they can do with so many children. Honestly, I don’t care how many children. I pay a lot of money for my Son to attend a private pre school which pays their salary and I expect that all of the children are cared for and safe. At the same time, I realize they are human and things happen. Mostly, kids are smart and a gang of them can wreak havoc in a moments notice. So, I really try to be fair.

So, even at a tender 3 years old our Son is learning consequences for bad choices. He is a strong willed child. He’s smart, sweet, funny, kind, adventurous and caring. He’s the little boy who picks me flowers whenever he sees them,He does give me a run for my money sometimes but not like at school. We teach respecting the teachers and others.

Tomorrow, I will have to go in with my ears open and mouth shut. My intuition is telling me something is up. At the same time, I don’t want to be “that parent” with their head in the clouds about their disorderly kids either.

At the end of the day. My husband and I agree. No matter what happens at the school that our Son observes, learns, endures we are responsible for. We will continue to teach him and encourage him to speak up, not to do as others do and protect himself from harm.

Wish me luck. I am pretty sure I am going to need all the well wishes tomorrow for keeping composure and grace in dealing with this.